Fitzwilliam Darcy, The Insufferable
by ipodrocker16
Summary: When the newlywed Darcys' carriage pulls away, Elizabeth finally gets to kiss her husband. Why, then, does he refuse to kiss her again? A cute, short, one-shot where Bingley is forgetful, Elizabeth is confused, and Darcy is very, very stubborn.


**Disclaimer: I, ipodrocker16, solemnly swear that I do NOT own the following masterpieces: Pride and Prejudice, or the 1995 BBC production of the former. I DO, however, own all rights to this short one-shot, as it is of my own creation.**

**A/N: This idea came to me when I was re-watching the 1995 BBC production of Pride and Prejudice (With Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle). It takes place at the dead end, when Darcy and Elizabeth have their first kiss as a married couple in the open-top carriage. Enjoy and REVIEW!**

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><p>Elizabeth felt irresistibly happy when she was kissed by her husband. Her <em>husband.<em> She was Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy now! Elizabeth Bennet was no more. Elizabeth smiled against Darcy's lips, and was about to deepen the kiss further, when to her surprise, he pulled away!

She stared at Darcy in shock, and he smiled contently back. Elizabeth smiled slightly in confusion, and attempted to resume her previous occupation. Where Darcy's face had been mere moments before, she was only met with air, and Elizabeth had to pull back suddenly to avoid falling onto her husband's lap.

A sharp gaze was shot at Darcy, who simply chuckled and patted her hand. "There there, Elizabeth, that is quite enough. I only wanted to kiss you once. Now that I have, I would like to get some rest."

Mouth gaping, Elizabeth stared at him incredulously as Darcy picked up his top hat and put it over his face as he leaned back against the carriage, stretching his legs out to take a nap. After staring at him for several minutes, she yanked the hat off of his face and said quite loudly, "Fitzwilliam, are you quite sure you are sane? We just MARRIED, and you say you don't want to kiss me?"

Darcy simply smirked and replied, "Yes, I did say that. Now if you don't mind, Elizabeth, I would like to get some rest. Your mother can be quite trying for one's nerves."

He reached over her and put the hat back on his face. Elizabeth crossed her arms stubbornly, and said to him, "Fine, perhaps I do not want to kiss you either."

From underneath the hat, Darcy commented, "Really, for it did not seem that way mere moments ago." The hat over his mouth made the words sound muffled and slightly distorted.

Elizabeth scowled, forgetting that he could not see her, and replied, "You, Fitzwilliam Darcy, are insufferable." He merely laughed.

The entire ride to London was silent. Elizabeth had her arms crossed and was facing the outside of the uncovered carriage, fuming at her newlywed husband. What was Darcy thinking? After a year of him being in love with her, Elizabeth had expected that he would take the opportunity to kiss her. Even the chaste kisses during their engagement period had been more passionate than… that! Every few minutes, she would glance over at her "resting" husband, only to find him in the same position as before. He did not even take the hat off of his face!

After hours of Elizabeth's thinking of how much she wanted to smack Darcy, the carriage finally came to a halt outside of the Darcy townhouse. If she had not been in such a cross mood, Elizabeth may have marveled at the sheer size and elegance her new home held. But as soon as the couple arrived, Elizabeth took Darcy's hat and said to him, "We are here now, Mr. Darcy."

He peeked open one eye and replied, "Yes, it appears that we are. Splendid." Darcy got up, took back his hat, and nearly jumped out of the carriage.

Elizabeth was rather startled by his sudden burst of energy, and warily took the arm he offered to her. Darcy patted her hand and asked her, "Would you like to meet the servants now?"

She replied that she would, and they ventured into the house. Still suspicious of her husband's rather bipolar behavior, Elizabeth sneaked a glance at him, only to find him smiling contentedly. _Well, _she thought, _it appears that he is much happier now that he does not have to kiss me._ She huffed, causing Mr. Darcy to amusedly turn and look at her.

"Whatever is the matter, dearest?" He asked, clearly knowing what was the matter.

"Nothing, only that I have the most ridiculous and insufferable husband in the world," Elizabeth replied indignantly. Darcy chuckled fondly and replied, "Yes, yes you do."

Elizabeth was then introduced to the staff as Mrs. Darcy, the new mistress of the various Darcy estates. She felt a small thrill go down her spine as being addressed as Mrs. Darcy, followed by disappointment that her male counterpart seemed dramatically less enthused by the idea than she.

After the introductions took place, the servants disappeared to wherever it was that they needed to go. Elizabeth and her husband made their way into the parlor, where Mr. Darcy sat on the sofa, patting the seat next to him as an invitation to sit. Elizabeth hesitantly sat down beside him, and was surprised when he took her hands.

Elizabeth turned away from Darcy, bent on ignoring him, when he took her chin so he could look clearly at her face. Elizabeth moved her hands from his, and used them to take his other hand off of her face.

"Darling, please do not tell me that you are still distressed that I did not kiss you again," Darcy said.

Elizabeth glared at him. "What do you think? Why else would I possibly be distressed! I am your wife, I thought you would actually WANT to kiss me, not be afraid of kissing like a young schoolboy would be! I'll say, Darcy, if our marriage is going to be as distant as the carriage ride was, than the rest of my life is-"

Elizabeth was interrupted by her husband's soft lips on hers. As he pulled away, she whispered, "Doomed."

Darcy smiled and asked softly, "Would you like me to explain?"

"Yes please," she replied weakly. Darcy cleared his throat. "The fault is all mine; you did nothing wrong. I made the dreadful mistake of allowing Charles Bingley, the most forgetful person on this Earth, order the carriages for the wedding. I specifically requested a closed carriage, as I wanted some privacy for me and my new wife." The said wife blushed in embarrassment, still unaccustomed to kissing and the like. Although that certainly didn't mean that she did not enjoy it…

"Charles completely forgot about it. As he and your sister Jane only had to travel the three minutes to Netherfield, he did not need a closed carriage. When I saw that we had the wide-open carriage with no privacy whatsoever, well... I would have kissed you, Elizabeth, but I did not want to carry myself away when anyone could have seen. Do you forgive me?"

Elizabeth smiled and softly kissed him. "Of course I do. In hindsight, I do not know why I expected you to kiss me senseless in an open-top carriage. But, there is one condition to this forgiveness."

Darcy had an idea of what her condition was, but that did not stop him from raising an eyebrow and replying, "Oh? And what might this condition be?"

Mrs. Darcy informed him; "You must make up all the wasted time in the carriage that could have been spent more enjoyably."

He smirked and as he leaned in to kiss her, whispered, "My darling Elizabeth, conditions or not, I am going to take advantage of us being married and alone." Then, he (finally) kissed her.

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><p><strong>AN: LOL, that was SO fun to write! The plot bunnies have returned… If you read this, PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME! Especially if you liked it! Otherwise, I will be forced to assume that everyone hates it when the Darcys' kiss.**


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